Parade of Ridiculousness: CANDY-CORN Cal

"Someone said it looked like Halloween candy corn...
Take a picture. You won't see them again."

~ Baltimore Orioles manager Buck Showalter 

August 13th, 2010 after his team donned the "all orange" in Tampa

The 1970s were a strange and wonderful time.

The original Oriole all-orange alternate uniforms debuted on September 16th 1971, the night Frank Robinson hit his 501st home run and Brooks Robinson hit a grand slam. This was appropriate because the fancy new threads were actually sold to the club from the Brooks Robinson Sporting Goods Company.

The unis were only used in three games, twice in 1971 and once more in 1972. Our friends at the Fleer Sticker Project have already collected and documented with a comprehensive set of images so I don't have to.

I started thinking: How fair is this? If Boog Powell, Brooks Robinson, Frank Robinson, Jim Palmer, Bobby Grich, Pat Dobson, Earl Weaver and rest of the Oriole dynasty all had to wear those mono-orange uniforms... it only seems fair that Cal Ripken Jr. should have to wear them too.

After numerous requests and the overwhelming guilt I feel when promises I make remain undelivered, I will start posting some of the card templates I have created. Here is a link to the re-tooled 1971 Topps card I used for this post.

Disclaimer: Going forward, I will share template files when it makes sense. They will be posted as PSD files. A basic understanding of photoshop and layers is required. I will make the layers as simple as I can, but I am not going to be able to help provide tech support. In some cases, you will also need to download a new font to achieve the correct look. In this case, the font used at the top of the card is called MAXIMUS -- it is not a standard font preloaded on most computers. I downloaded it from a very useful website called: DAFONT.COM

Parade of Ridiculousness: Reggie as a Mariner

The concept behind the Parade of Ridiculousness is based on showing famous players in outlandish or ridiculous uniforms. In the past I have shown Babe Ruth in Astros tequila sunrise stripes and Lou Gehrig in Bill Veeck's softball shorts. I'm always looking for new ideas.

My love for the original Seattle Mariners Trident logo is well documented and Reggie continues to be one of my favorites. Combining these two is not something I would have ever considered. The interesting and best thing about this Reggie Jackson/Seattle Mariner post is it actually happened.

In never knew about this. Last week, because there was no real baseball on the TV... I occupied myself by watching the marathon of All Star Game Highlight films on MLB Network.

The '79 Midsummer Classic was held in Seattle, a strange choice considering the Mariners were only in their 3rd year of existence. Appearing in his 9th of what would be 14 career All Star Games, somehow Reggie Jackson arrived at the Kingdome without his Yankee pinstripe uniform. Not sure if his luggage was lost or he was just looking for a reason to piss off George Steinbrenner. This was before the general availability of authentic uniform jerseys from retail shops inside each stadium and their surrounding neighborhoods. Reggie was stuck.

Instead of missing the American League All Star team picture, someone convinced Reggie to just put on a Mariners home uniform and take his place in the shot (2nd row, 2nd in from the left). If this happened today... it would take about 5 minutes for someone to fix it with photoshop. Fortunately for us, no one did that.

Still don't believe me? I made a video.

Parade of Ridiculousness: Jackie traded to the Giants

Dear Mr. Stoneham:

After due consideration I have decided to request to be placed on the voluntary retired list as I am going to devote my full time to the business opportunities that have been presented.

My sincere thanks to you and to Mr. Feeney for your wonderful cooperation and understanding in this matter.

I assure you that my retirement has nothing to do with my trade to your organization. From all I have heard from people who have worked with you it would have been a pleasure to have been in your organization.

Again my thanks and continued success for you and the New York Giants.

Sincerely,
Jackie Robinson

Parade of Ridiculousness: Vida Blue in the Bronx Zoo

“Charlie, I’m at Comiskey and just heard from Johnny about your sales. I don’t like the look of these sales at all. I’m putting everything on hold until I can decide whether or not to stop them. I want you to know that. I’ve advised the Red Sox and Yankees.”

“Commissioner, it’s none of your damn business. You can’t stop me from selling players. Guys have been selling players forever, and no commissioner has ever stopped them.”

“Commissioner, I can’t sign these guys. They don’t want to play for ol’ Charlie. They want to chase those big bucks in New York. If I sell them now, I can at least get something back. … I can sign amateurs and build the team again. … I know how to do it. You know I do. You’ve seen me do it. And you shouldn’t be thinking about getting into this. ... This free agency thing is terrible. The only way to beat it is with young players. That’s where I’ll put the money,”

"Shorn of much of its finest talent in exchange for cash, the Oakland club, which has been divisional champion for the last five years, has little chance to compete effectively in its division. Whether other players will be available to restore the club by using the cash involved is altogether speculative although Mr. Finley vigorously argues his ability to do so. … Public confidence in the integrity of club operations and in baseball would be greatly undermined should such assignments not be restrained. While I am of course aware that there have been sales of players contracts in the past, there has been no instance in my judgment which had the potential for harm to our game as do these assignments, particularly in the present unsettled circumstances of baseball’s reserve system and in the highly competitive circumstances we find in today’s sports and entertainment world."

“Kuhn sounds like the village idiot. He’s continuing a personal vendetta with me... We’re going to haul his tail into court Monday. His Highness can’t make decisions that are contrary to the law of the land.”

“A true genius is rarely appreciated in his own time. A true asshole almost always is. Major League Baseball quickly recognized that Charles O. Finley, maverick owner of the Athletics in the 1960s and 1970s, was the latter. They still haven’t a clue that he was the former, as well.”

Parade of Ridiculousness: The 'Best Interests of Baseball'

Working on my recent Joe Rudi DAHOF Top 100 post reminded me about the June 1976 "deal" that Oakland owner Charlie Finley made with the Red Sox. If you don't know the story: Charlie O saw the new world of baseball free agency emerging... and didn’t like it. In a prehistoric version of the modern day "fire sale"* he sent two of his star players, Rollie Fingers and Joe Rudi to Boston for $1M each.

The deal was voided by Commissioner Bowie Kuhn, who invoked the “best interests of baseball” clause as justification. Finley was pissed and called Kuhn "the village idiot" and sued MLB, but lost the case when the court ruled that the commissioner had the authority to determine what is in the best interest of baseball.

Rudi and Fingers would leave Oakland and Charlie after the ’76 season, signing big free agent deals with California and San Diego respectively.

* Later that same night, Finley also "sold" Vida Blue to the Yankees for $1.5M. Stay tuned for a Vida/Yankees 1976 card.

Parade of Ridiculousness: Prince Albert in South Florida

When I saw the Miami Marlins (how weird does that sound?) introduced their new uniform design and released this news on the same day.. I knew that I had my next Parade of Ridiculousness project.

MIAMI -- The Marlins spent the week entertaining high-profile free agents, showing them the sizzle of the club's new stadium while allowing them to soak in the South Florida sunshine.

Albert Pujols, the top free agent on the market, is the latest big name to see the new ballpark.

The slugger was in town on Friday, meeting with the Marlins while getting a tour of the 37,000-seat, retractable-roof ballpark.

I chose the 1980 Topps design because José Alberto Pujols Alcántara was born in January of 1980 -- however, as with all Dominican Republic birth certificates, this is subject to change.

At this point, my only hope is if Albert decides to play for the Marlins, he has the good sense to allow ESPN to produce an hour long television "DECISION" special which concludes with him announcing:

 "This spring.... this is very tough... this spring, I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Marlins... "

Parade of Ridiculousness: Clemente dressed as a bumble bee

The tragic death of Roberto Clemente in December 1972 forever immortalized the original black and white version of this image. Here you see the great Clemente acknowledging the ovation of the Pirate fans following his 3000th hit.

It was September 30th, 1972, the Pirates had clinched the NL East title 9 days earlier -- but Clemente provided some more drama for the home fans after a long injury plagued season (he only played 102 games) when he laced a double to left center field to lead off the 4th inning for the milestone hit. At the time, no one knew it would be the last (regular season) at-bat and last (regular season) hit of his career. Because Pirate Manager Bill Virdon pinch hit for him (using soon to be retired and future Hall of Famer Bill Mazeroski) before his next turn came up in the game. He did not play in the final three games of the season.

Even though he was still a very productive player when he was playing in 1972, there is no disputing the fact at age 38 -- Clemente was nearing the end of his career. If he had not died, I highly doubt he would have been an active player in 1977 when the Pirates entered their Bumble Bee fashion era. However, I always wondered what he would have looked like sporting these colorful fashion disasters.

Wonder no more Pirates fans.... Roberto Clemente even looked great even wearing those hideous late 1970's all yellow Pirates uniforms.

Parade of Ridiculousness: Mickey in Teal

I'm back!

It has been an incredibly busy week for me. The real world of work, customers, and bosses caught up to me.

I made this Mickey Mantle as a Florida Marlin card last week. It makes me laugh every time I glance over at it. The lack of professional dignity just wearing the color teal brings to a professional baseball player is staggering.

This is the first card I've made using a 1993 Topps design. I wanted to use 1993 because that was the first season of the Marlins franchise. Not 100% pleased with the font match, but the rest of it was pretty simple to piece together.

Parade of Ridiculousness: Lou Gehrig in Veeck's shorts

I am posting this absolutely ridiculous card three reasons:

1. Reivax made this suggestion on the original Babe Ruth in Astros rainbow stripe post - and I want to keep encouraging ideas to come in.
2. Once you get past the desecrating a legend part, it does look pretty funny. For someone who spent his entire professional career wearing Yankee pinstripes, I think the Iron Horse looks like he loves the shorts.
3. I am hoping posting this somehow jinxes the Yankees tonight as they take on the Detroit Tigers in an elimination Game 5 of the ALDS.

Got another one you want to see? Put it in the comments section below, email me, tweet me, or post on my Facebook wall.

Parade of Ridiculousness: Blood clot red Bob Feller

This one was much easier to create because the original image was already in color. I've got a couple of others in the works, keep your suggestions coming in.

Parade of Ridiculousness: Ty Cobb sporting the mustard & brown

Last week I stumbled into this fun concept with Babe Ruth in a 1976 Astros uniform.

As promised, I present you with card #2 of this Parade of Ridiculousness set: Ty Cobb in the mono-mustard look of the 1972-73 San Diego Padres.

I am currently in the planning and feasibility stages with the suggestions of Chuck Klein in the 1979 Phillies mono-maroon Saturday Night Specials & Bob Feller in the 1975-77 all red Cleveland Indians "blood clot" threads. Once I get rolling one on of these, it is hard to stop.

Any other suggestions ? Keep them coming.

Parade of Ridiculousness: Babe Ruth in tequila sunrise stripes

The Phils have lost six in a row and appear to be limping into the playoffs. Time to move my mind in another direction.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a tweet from the Mitchell & Ness blog linking to some interesting photos of a long forgotten Astros warm-up sweater. Seeing an old school gun-slinger like Nolan Ryan wearing the wacky combination of the old-school knit style sweater and the ultra modern Astros rainbow stripes was a shock to my system.

I shared these rainbow striped sweater images with a friend of mine, who happens to actually work for the Astros, and the banter was off and running. At some point I started joking about the concept of Babe Ruth sporting these uniforms. The conversation went something like this:

Him: "...The Babe would've looked good in the Astro rainbows....although his homerun output would have been hurt by the Astrodome outfield dimensions!
Me: "Playing in the 'dome, he might have gone back to being a full time pitcher."
Him: "Very true! A rotation of Ruth, Ryan and Richard would have been awesome..."

Of course, I had to sit down and photo-chop a Houston Astros fantasy Babe Ruth card for him.

This looks so ridiculous and I had so much fun making it, I think I have stumbled upon a new recurring feature. For my next act... Ty Cobb in the mustard yellows of the 1972-73 San Diego Padres. Anyone else have ideas?